Homily of the Twenty-fourth Sunday of OT, Year A: 2026

Stephen Felker, How Often Should I Forgive?

Forgiveness Written in Stone

A story is told of two friends who were walking through the desert. During some point of the journey, they had an argument, and one friend slapped the other one in the face. The one who got slapped was hurt, but without saying anything, wrote in the sand, "Today my best friends slapped me in the face."

They kept on walking until they found an oasis, where they decided to take a bath. The one who had been slapped got stuck in the mire and started drowning, but the friend saved him. After he recovered from nearly drowning, he wrote on a stone, "Today my best friend saved my life."

His friend asked him, "After I hurt you, you wrote in the sand and now, you write on a stone, why?" The other friend replied "When someone hurts us, we should write it down in sand where winds of forgiveness can erase it away. But, when someone does something good for us, we must engrave it in stone where no wind can ever erase it."

Forgiveness is one of tough lessons in Jesus’ time and in our time. St. Peter’s question was very straight and practical: How many times do I have to forgive my brothers and sisters? Is it seven times? Jesus’ answer: not seven times, but seventy times seven. That means Jesus wants us to forgive many many times until it is perfect.

Have you known someone who does not forgive someone like his/ her parents, his/ her brothers or sisters; or his/her ex-spouse? Does he/ she have peace and joy? I don’t think people who carry in their mind and their heart someone they do not forgive, have peace and joy. They always want to talk about their wounds. They want the whole world to know about their wounds and who caused them. Why? It is because they have not forgiven or they do not want to forgive.

There is a question which everyone asks: when I forgive someone, do I need to forget his/her wrongdoing too? In The Gospel today, Jesus only asks us to forgive the person. He did not talk about forgetting the person because he knows remembering is a brain function. Here, you may ask: how can I know I really forgive the person who betrayed me or offended me, while I still remember them? You may ask yourself: how do you feel and what do you think when you think or hear about the person who had hurt you in the past? Are you still angry, want revenge or wish bad things to your enemies? If you still have those thoughts, you still not forgive as Jesus wants. If those memories do not affect your mind and heart at all, but at peace and calm, that means you have forgiven your enemies.

The point is: we will remember, but we must forgive no matter how many times people offend us or how big the injury is. It will be hard. Every time you struggle to forgive someone, look upon the crucifix, Jesus asked his Father to forgive those who persecuted and mocked him.

St. Faustina said three things that make people stay in purgatory for a long time: one is unforgiveness; Two is gossiping about other faults; these people like to repeat again and again how people hurt them; three is staying idle or lazy in living your faith.

Dear friends in Christ, every time we go to confession and ask for forgiveness, we must imitate God’s compassion and mercy in our relationships with others. We should forgive our spouse, our children and neighbors whenever it is asked for. Never refuse to forgive anyone when it is asked. This is Jesus’ command.

If you ask me why it is hard to forgive someone, I will ask you: how long is your last confession? No kidding! It is because this sacrament will heal your mind and your soul. In the confessional, we should open our wounds and your heart so the grace of Christ may come in and heal you, and you will know how to forgive.

When we celebrate the Eucharist, we witness Jesus’ love on the Cross. His Blood is poured out for the forgiveness of sins. If we forgive our brothers and sisters as He forgives us, we will be at peace and joy when we meet Jesus, our King, face to face on the judgment day.